American Journal: The Basketball Coach

My second attempt at sorting out my life went a lot better than the first one had; for one thing, it was no longer a Sunday, so the banks were actually open the second time around. I also managed to get myself to Walmart much earlier on in the day, so I ended up getting pretty much everything I needed. I did however, leave the folder I was given with all my banking information in it at Walmart during my struggle to carry the mountain of bedding and other assorted items I had just purchased. When I realised what I’d done, at this point back on the bus and well on the way back to campus, I just started to laugh. I couldn’t tell anymore if my luck really was this bad, or if I was subconsciously sabotaging myself so that I would have more to write about. Fortunately Robert, the banker I had dealt with earlier in the day, was very accommodating when I got back to the bank and told him what had happened. He decided the best option was to close that account and just set up a brand new one, seeing as I hadn’t even used it yet. Robert was very patient and didn’t seem to mind at all about having to do the entire process all over again just because of my stupidity. I thanked him profusely and asked for a customer feedback form so I could give him a good review. Not that he needed to do anything else, but in return, he gave me a giant bin liner to put all of my stuff in I had been struggling to carry, which I made a point of telling him, was far better service than Walmart had managed.

  The next couple of days after that ended up being pretty solitary. I walked around campus and saw giant groups of people participating in various activities and being given tours, and I just felt like a ghost. I kept wondering if there was somewhere I was supposed to be too; I couldn’t find anything telling me there was, but at the same time, I though it was a bit weird that I seemed to be the only person there without anything to do. I didn’t even have a ton of my own stuff to be getting on with either; most of the list was complete at this point, I went to Walmart again and mopped up the dregs, but I quickly started running out of things to buy. Sunny and I would talk occasionally, and even went to dinner again, but he was mainly busy with other things and other people; so much for not feeling alone. I couldn’t wait for this limbo period to end already.

  Some distractions were to be found the next day however, as it was finally the day that everyone else moved in and filled the previously empty hallways I had been inhabiting. My roommate showed up in the middle of the afternoon, and he had brought his family with him. I’m not sure if this was the best way to meet him or not, because although I did end up doing quite a bit of talking with them, most of the conversation was not with him, but with his considerably more chatty mother. I was hoping the two of us might go the dining hall and get to know each other a bit, but after they were done unpacking, he went out with his family instead.

  That night though, we all gathered for a floor meeting, which with now over 60 of us filling out the living area, made for a sharp contrast with the Shining-esque emptiness of the place over the past few days. We were given a large roll of toilet paper and were instructed to take from it as much as we might need for a night of camping. The first person to do it took about 3 sheets, and then the power of conformity left most people with about the same amount; there were of course, the occasional jokers that took like 20 though. Our RA then told us however many sheets of toilet paper we had taken was now how many facts we each had to say about ourselves; the jokers quickly paled. I myself had taken 3, but I promptly stuffed one of them in my pocket when no one was looking. We started going around introducing ourselves and saying our facts, but with over 60 of us to get through, it was already taking a long time. Quickly enough though, we reached the first guy that had taken a ridiculous amount of sheets; he only got through about 6 facts before he started panicking and looking desperately around the room for someone to save him from the hell he had just gotten himself into. He was soon excused from having to complete the rest of his facts, and shortly thereafter, the maximum amount of facts was reduced to 3.

  After the introductions were over, the next step was to go over a set of rules for the floor. As you might expect from a room of largely 18 year old boys, most of the rules they came up with concerned where you could and couldn’t piss and/or throw up, and what the correct procedure was should you manage to pull a girl.

  Once all that was done, we were advised to spend the evening trying to get to know each other. One guy talked to me briefly about playing drums, and then he told me he was in a band and had a show in town in a couple of weeks if I wanted to go. Honestly, I think that might have been the reason for the conversation in the first place. Regardless of the veiled sales pitch, I like seeing live music, so if he ever decides to talk to me again to tell me where the thing actually is, I’ll be sure to check it out.

  Shortly after that, I saw a guy walk out of his room with a Cards Against Humanity box held high above his head. Perfect, this was an easy way to socialise with a few people at once without having to blunder through endless amounts of small talk, and listening to everyone repeating the same tired questions and even more tired answers (although if you’ve played CAH enough times, that part doesn’t change). The problem was, I think a lot of the people that ended up playing were doing it for largely the same reasons. What that guy had essentially done when he pulled out that box, was produce a social awkwardness magnet that drew people in and immediately separated us from the rest of the floor, and what made it even worse, was that I never won a single round. Not that I’m bitter or anything.

  Despite that night’s festivities, I spent the majority of the next day alone. I had an exchange student meeting early in the morning. It was mostly filled with information about banking and buses and living arrangements; stuff that I had already kind of figured out during the trial by fire that was my first few days here.

  Even though I had nothing else to do, I left at the earliest opportunity. I spent most of my afternoon instead trying to figure out how to do an international bank transfer so I could spend my own money from now on rather than using my dad’s credit card all the time. This was not something they had covered in the orientation however; so after several hours of struggling, I eventually had to give up.

  The next day started out the same way that the last few had; my roommate and I haven’t really broken through the ice yet, which isn’t helped by the fact that he always seems to be somewhere else other than our room, so I went to breakfast alone again, and then spent an hour trying to decide how to fill my time that day. I decided to go to Walgreens and buy a couple more things, partly out of needing the things, but more out of just wanting to do something other than sit in my room and feel gloomy about all of the friendships I wasn’t making.

  The trip was all too brief; I must have been gone for less than an hour. Coming back up the stairs to the dorms though, I ran into someone from my floor called Nick and he asked me if I wanted to go get lunch. On the one hand this was exactly the kind of thing I had been hoping would just happen, but on the other, I’m kind of worried that this only reinforces the idea for me that if I just sit around and wait for friendships to happen to me, they eventually will, regardless of any effort (or lack thereof) I may put in.

  Nick had lived in the US for a few years now, but he was originally from Hong Kong, so as a member of a former British colony, he was able to talk with me for a while on the differences between Britain and the US and actually have some insight into both sides of the conversation. We also talked about sports a little whilst we were eating, and I mentioned that I was interested in playing tennis on the courts outside our building every once in a while. Nick took that idea and ran with it, and very shortly thereafter, we were somehow making plans to go and play after we’d finished eating.

  Nick came by my room and waited for me to change, and as he did he met my roommate, who was for once, actually in our room. They quickly started talking, and by the time I was done, Peter was coming too; obviously Nick has much better interpersonal skills than I do.

  We were all predictably terrible at tennis; I used to play when I was a lot younger, but at this point I’m very used to squash, and the technique for tennis is considerably different. We played for around an hour, during which I reckon about 5 legal serves might have been played between the lot of us. Still, it was great to actually do something with other people for a change, even if it was something none of us were any good at.

  After that, Nick suggested that the three of us went and looked round the buildings our classes are in; I’d been walking around campus for days, so I didn’t really feel like I needed to see the buildings in person to know where I was supposed to go, but I went anyway just for the company. Upon exploring, we found that the maths building is this really old (by American standards) place that kind of looks like a grand church, or a tiny castle; I’m already quite excited to have lectures there honestly.

Eventually we all went our separate ways though, and I found myself going to dinner alone again. This time however, it was kind of nice to take a break for a little while. It didn’t last long though (although I can’t say I’m complaining about that either).

  As I was walking out of the dining hall, someone on my floor named Victor came past and asked me if the others had left yet. I had no idea what others he was even talking about, no matter about where or if they might have gone.

  It turns out there was an event going on at the football stadium and everyone on our floor had just left to go to it; apparently we had been told about it during our floor meeting on Thursday, and come to think of it I do vaguely remember something like that being said, but for some reason I had just neglected to think of it since. I was probably too busy trying to focus on my two facts. That aside, the two of us rushed off to try and catch up with the rest of the floor.

  We managed to reach them a couple of minutes before they got to the stadium. Upon joining the group, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Nick was among its members; him, me, and a guy on our floor called Ben all stayed together as we went inside and sat down in the stands. Whilst we were walking in, the marching band was playing on the pitch, and the cheerleaders and baton twirlers and flag bearers were all performing alongside them. It was the picture of a football half-time performance, and as I walked to my seat, I couldn’t help but smile at it all; this wasn’t a sight I’d really ever expected to see. Even after knowing I was coming to this country, even walking over to the stadium, the idea that I might be present for such a quintessentially American experience like this one had never really occurred to me, and getting to do it as something slightly more than a tourist, as someone that sort of belonged there just made it all the better. For perhaps the first time, I really began to comprehend where I was. It hit me that I had previously been viewing my experience so far as a series of problems to be solved. Getting essentials, sorting money, attending meetings, making friends; they had all just been tasks that needed accomplishing. But sitting in a football stadium watching people give presentations on things like college sports and fraternities, I just had to laugh, because I was here, this was it, and I’d only just realised.

  Watching the basketball coach give an overly emotional, way too long speech about how we could apply the basketball team’s motto to our time at university was a more stereotypical experience than I could possibly have hoped for; I could see the rest of the crowd losing interest and starting to talk amongst themselves, but I stared at him transfixed, smiling in awe the entire time.

  After it was all done came perhaps the reason most people attended. The band stood on the pitch so that they spelled a giant I with their bodies, and then the rest of us were supposed to fill up the inside of it. It took a long time for us all to file down onto the pitch, and longer still for everyone to squeeze together enough so that we could actually fit everyone inside of the I. They had also given us orange t-shirts to put on for this part of the night; we had to wait longer still for every last person to get theirs on, but once we were all dressed in school colours, it was finally time to take our class photo.

 Technically I’m not actually in the class of 2019, but I’m hoping no one here really minds too much; I certainly raised my hands and shouted with the rest of them.

Until next time.

Image credit - www.facebook.com/illinois.edu?fref=ts